


And I'll Show You Who I Am

by Talvenhenki



Category: Star Trek: Picard
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a side of 'I love you', Background Hugh, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mind Meld, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Past manipulation, Vulcan Mind Melds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:08:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25657177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talvenhenki/pseuds/Talvenhenki
Summary: After Agnes' trial, Agnes and Cristóbal talk and hug.
Relationships: Agnes Jurati/Cristóbal Rios
Comments: 11
Kudos: 16





	And I'll Show You Who I Am

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this instead of sleeping. Again. Any mistakes are mine, I just needed to get this out of my system. I'll check the spelling in the morning.
> 
> No proofreading we die like men.

Agnes was sitting on the navigations chair and sipping some green tea. The week had been long, and she was completely spent. _La Sirena_ was orbiting Earth as the trial for Bruce Maddox’s murder had just been wrapped, and Agnes had been in attendance. _Forced_ to be in attendance. As the person who had killed Bruce Maddox, she’d been questioned by several lawyers, gotten some brain scans taken, and met at least half a dozen counsellors and mental health specialists, not to mention the Vulcan mind-meld therapists.

Truth to be told, Agnes just wanted to curl up under a blanket and forget, but she needed to look brave for the others. She couldn’t let them see how the past week had affected her.

“Hey.”

Cristóbal had come to see how Agnes was doing. He’d made sure that she’d eaten and rested every day during the trial and would have accompanied her to the courtroom, had it been allowed. He would have done anything to make sure Agnes was feeling good during the horrid affair.

“Hey”, Agnes breathed and leaned into Cris’ touch as he stroked her cheek. He was sitting on one of the crates he used as makeshift tables while he piloted the ship. “What’s up?” she asked softly.

“Mm, not much”, he admitted and smiled at Agnes. “Elnor is training with Emmet in the holosuite. Soji and Picard are playing chess. Raffi and Seven are still in Prague. And I think I saw Hugh somewhere in here as well.”

Agnes nodded. “He made me this tea when I got back. It was a nice gesture.”

“Indeed”, Cristóbal said, still smiling softly at Agnes. She was looking into his eyes, finding them calming and safe after all that had happened during the week of the trial. “Do you want me to get you anything else? Maybe something to eat?”

Agnes shook her head. Instead, she held out her hand for Cristóbal to take. She needed some of that comfort only he could provide. She needed him to hold her hand and to remind her that she was still _free_ , against all of her expectations.

“We can eat later, unless you’re hungry”, Agnes said. She didn’t have much of an appetite, not after the latest mind-meld. It was probably a psychological side effect from having to relive all the memories of The Admonition. She knew that the specialist had needed to see it and the memories related to Oh’s invasive meld, but Agnes wished the specialist had been kinder to her. Now she just felt like a used and discarded doll.

“Later sounds good”, Cristóbal said as he brushed Agnes’ hair behind her ear. She closed her eyes and sighed, leaning into the touch. She was glad for being able to just exist with him, in each other’s spaces. The silence that embraced them was blissful.

After a moment, Cristóbal cleared his throat. “I know you probably don’t want to talk about the trial yet, but when you do, I’d be glad to listen if it helps. I would have wanted to be there for you, but they didn’t let me. If you need me now, I’ll help you in any way I can.”

Agnes closed her eyes again. She’d known he would say something like that. Cristóbal – sweet, kind Cristóbal – would do anything to make sure she’d be comfortable, even talk about things. He would probably even catch an asteroid for her.

“I don’t even know what to feel, to be honest”, Agnes confessed. She squeezed Cristóbal’s fingers, reminding herself that it was no dream. “I…I think that they reached the wrong decision, though. I should have been convicted. I don’t care about all that ‘not criminally responsible due to an invasive mind-meld’ bullshit. I _killed_ Bruce! I killed a person who could have made a difference in the world and they just let me walk free!”

Cristóbal shook his head. He cupped Agnes’ cheek and leaned over to kiss her forehead before speaking.

“I don’t think the decision was the wrong one”, he said, his voice low. “Yes, Bruce Maddox did change the world, but from what you’ve told me about him, I can tell that he also used you to achieve it. Or would you tell me he never took the credit for your achievements? Or that he never coerced you? He wasn’t the good person he made you believe that he was. You deserved so much better than him, Agnes. I don’t think that you’re a bad person.”

Cristóbal leaned his forehead against Agnes’, leaving her to blink powerlessly against the tears pooling in her eyes and to swallow against the lump in her throat. It was amazing how such simple words could break a person so thoroughly.

When the first sob tore its way out of Agnes’ throat, Cristóbal scooped her up and carried her to the nest they’d built by the transporter pad. He sat down, holding Agnes on her lap as she sniffled. Kissing her hair, he began to massage the insides of Agnes’ wrists to calm her down.

“It’s alright now”, he whispered, “it’s alright, Agnes. I’ve got you and you’re safe right here with me. Nothing will get through Emmett and me. I have you. I have you.”

Agnes pressed her face against Cristóbal’s shoulder and cried. Her throat was sore and her whole body exhausted, but the tears kept coming. Cristóbal held her close and rocked her back and forth in an attempt to soothe her. After a while, Agnes calmed down enough to breathe normally again.

“Hey”, Cristóbal said, rubbing her shoulders and looking into her eyes. “You deserve all the kindness of the world, Agnes. You fought a mind-meld and saved a planet full of the people you were sent to destroy. You, Agnes Jurati, are one hell of a woman.”

Cristóbal took Agnes’ left hand into his right and began tracing letters on her palm. He smiled at her, encouraging her to repeat them aloud.

“I”, she said, “L, O, V, E, Y, O, U…you do?”

He smiled at her and nodded. “Yes. I don’t think we’ve said it yet, so yes. I love you. God, I love you so much.”

Agnes smiled widely and kissed Cristóbal on the mouth before giving him a crushing hug. He hugged her back, laughing a little when he lost his balance and crashed into the nest made from replicated pillows and blankets.

“I love you too”, Agnes whispered into his ear. “Dammit, I love you so much. I wouldn’t be here without you. I’m glad Raffi hooked you up with Picard’s mission to save the synths because otherwise we wouldn’t have met.”

What Agnes left unsaid was that had it not been for Oh’s mind-meld, she wouldn’t have met Cristóbal either. “I guess something good did come from this awful affair”, she breathed. “Damn the Zhat Vash and their mission to destroy artificial life. I belong here.”

“You certainly do”, Cristóbal agreed. “You most certainly do.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments spark joy!


End file.
